My 12 week 1day scan, last Wednesday
Thursday, 12 April 2012
So I'm 11weeks 2days today, I never thought id get to 11weeks. I'm so happy, I'm not bothered on whatever everyone else has to say anymore, yes I'm having a baby deal with it.
I see my widwife tomorrow, even get to here the heart beat which is apparently really emotional, i can't wait, then Wednesday i get too see my little baby. So excited
Saturday, 7 April 2012
So the last past day or so I've notice that anything jay is saying is annoying me, I'm not one to get annoyed, I don't no what it is he might not even have done anything and I'm fed up and annoyed with him, then the next minute I'm totally fine and acting normal again as if nothing had just happened, I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm not liking it
Wednesday, 4 April 2012
Thursday, 8 March 2012
Tuesday, 6 March 2012
Wednesday, 29 February 2012
Everything seems to have settle down now, people are getting use too the idea that yes I'm having a baby but that doesn't mean I've changed. I'm still me, no one at college knows yet, truth to be told is I'm scared off telling them, I dont want people to judge me, I mean j can tell my friends but do I really have to tell the tutors? Do they really need to know? It's not like I'm just about to drop. I dunno. I've got another scan in 9days, just to make sure everything is how it should be as I have a blood clotting condition that I didn't even no about. Lets hope everything is okay :-)
Monday, 27 February 2012
Its funny how people treat teenagers different because there pregnant, it doesnt mean we are going to be crap mum's or anything, were just a bit younger than the normal mum, they act like we arent gonna be able to cope, with the right support were be alright, its people who comment on how bad they think were be, yeah im 18, but when my baby is born ill be 19. i dont think thats young, yeah its not 20, or whatever but im older than most teen mums, and does age really matter? as long as your happy, in a nice relationship, which i am, have a support network around you, then it couldn't matter if your 18 or 23. I come from a massive family and i know there always be there no matter what, so im happy, i couldn't careless what people could think now. ive had enough off people commenting on it
Saturday, 25 February 2012
At first they were angry and upset, what i was expecting to be honest,
The hardest person to tell was dad, i dont no why i just didnt wanna hurt him i guess.
So after a day or two they have got use to the idea that im now having a baby off my own, and we have spoke about what is best for me and the baby, And as i dislike abortions with a passion, i have decided im keeping it. What there totally fine with, they said there support me in anyway i need, which is nice to know.
On the other hand my boyfriends parents are mad, they have voiced how they feel and that they wanted me to abort it, but im a strong headed person and im not going too.
Im having this baby with there support or not, that may sound harsh but its my body, yeah me and him both made it so we should both choose what we wanna do, but i dont believe in abortions, so in this case, he doesnt have much say, hes okay with that though, hes just a bit shocked, as we wasnt planning to have a baby.
Wednesday, 22 February 2012
you cant tell anyone anything nowa days, even stays quiet for long. Not much i can do about it now aye? To top it all my boyfriends mum is trying to make me have abortion, isnt it up too me?i dont beilieve in them, never have never will. thats just me.
Not only did that happen, my ex's girlfriends friend, thought it would be nice to share that when i was still with him, him and this girl had been seeing each other, i have nothing wrong with my boyfriends having girls who are friends, but its a tad weird when they suddenly get together after a month off 'us' splitting up, so out off anger what i think is understandable i called them both names, but noo, her friend has to go tell me ex and turn it round like i was bitching about her, does anyone else wanna have ago at me, im 18 and i feel like im back at primary school, why is everyone two faced.
But then they can say you can only count your true friends on one hand.
Saturday, 18 February 2012
Saturday, 11 February 2012
Everyone says school is the best time off your life, and the time your like yeah right, then when your older, and have left school and in college, you see that yeah it is the best times off your life, the only thing that you every had to worry about was what to wear on tag day, or your make up.
Soon as those days are gonna things slowly change, nothing comes easy anymore, people change, and you have to make new friends, and with everything changing you start to lose your old friends, i know i have, we tried to keep in contact but with college, boyfriends and everything, you never have time.
Me and my best friend were like twins, we did everything together, are work, town, sleepovers, even holiday, But then we started college and shes became this different person, someone i had never seen before, someone i wouldnt normally be friends with, she started bitching about everyone, me, showing off, totally changed from the girl i knew.
I just miss the older times, im only 18 but so much as changed since i was 16...
Friday, 10 February 2012
First love? Do we ever move on?
One mintue you think your over them, and happy because they have moved on, next minute they talk too you, and you fall back in to the trap, you fall for them all over again..
As much as I wish he didn't have this control, I still want him in my life, I know maybe if I deleted him, I'd be able to move on, but I can't bring myself too do it, I don't wanna. I don't think I'm ready. He was a big part off my life, my best friend we did everything together. Told each other everything. We knew each other inside out, and I'm not ready to let him go....
I think it's time I sat down and thought able what I want, but whatevr it is, I know we aren't ever gonna get back together...
Thursday, 9 February 2012
They wonder why girls have trust issues. Well if you didnt lie we wouldnt have trust issues.
Then when you start to trust them, they throw it back in your face.
Last time i wear my heart on my sleeve.
Try and be nice, and no one else is nice back at yaa.
Sometimes life can be so confusing.
God help me.
Thursday, 2 February 2012
I mean have you ever walked in to a room fall off people and felt totally alone? Because thats how I feel everyday, and I know I have family to talk to, but some times you just wanna be able to talk to someone else someone who isn't gonna say anything just sit there and listen. I use to have a person i could do that with, just lay there and talk about everything, i didn't have to hide anything i could be myself, tell them all my problems or worries and they would just tell me it will be fine, i just need that again..
i feel like im carrying everyone else's problems as well as my own.
Its just sad to think that know one can see how i feel, my friend was killed, yet no one understands how i feel, the world still works around them, i dont no how much more i can take
Tuesday, 31 January 2012
Saturday, 28 January 2012
so its a saturday and im sitting at home, on my own, i have such amazing life.
i would go out with my friends, but one off them is pregnant, i dont have a problem with her being pregnant, im happy for her, but every time we go out all we seem to talk about is her baby, and after awhile it starts to get boring and annoying, yeah i love her to bits, but me and my other friends have stuff going on in our life as well that we would like to share and talk about, but all we get to hear is baby this baby that, then when she does stop talking about the baby, the baby scan is due and then were stuck with her talking about baby and everything.
i feel bad, but i dont wanna hear about her baby every day. i have other things on my mind.